I know, it's obvious. But seriously - you go Google Image search "winning" and see if you come up with an image NOT of Charlie Sheen. This was actually the best one. (Photo credit: Alex Pardee)

There’s this thing out there called winning well. There’s also this thing out there called winning poorly.

I was inspired to write this post after hearing harrowing tales of my husband slapping his Jaded Gamercast co-host in the face after beating him in a game of Warhammer Fantasy.  (Just so you know, that’s winning poorly.)

I’m told Lange was being quite a sore loser (a topic I’ll likely write about in the future) but since I always choose my husband first, I thought I’d tackle how to earn sportsmanship points when you’ve won a game.  Winning games and being a fun opponent aren’t mutually exclusive, but I thought I’d throw out a few tips to help you guys to who can’t stop beating face to salvage some of those points.

1) Get to know your opponent.

It’s a beautiful part of this hobby: there are times where you may be standing across from someone you’ve never met at a table to play a game. That’s awesome.

Now if you don’t bother getting to know the guy, learning his name, seeing how long he’s been playing for and how long he’s been playing this army for, you’ve wasted a perfect opportunity.

Not only will it give you some information as to how skilled  this player may be, but also you totally miss an opportunity to make a connection and learn from this person.

Even when I play opponents who are vastly less experienced than I, I still learn plenty. I learn about the metagame from his region or club,  how many guys have picked up the hobby, if there are any events in that neck of the woods and where the good gaming shops are.

All that stuff is good info and at the same time, creates a bond between you and he. It’s a lot harder to give someone less than stellar soft scores if they actually SEEM like a person rather than an adversary.

2) If they’re being overly emotional, give them space.

If you watch any mixed martial arts, you’ll know that at the end of a fight guys run the gamut of emotion. Some scream, some cry, some laugh, some do backflips.

Some guys do that when they lose games. Some guys are really emotional when they play. That’s fine – passion is the foundation on which our geekdom was built.

You don’t know what’s going on in his life – maybe he just got divorced and kicked out of his house by his ex or maybe he just lost custody of his kids. Whatever the reason, that’s his baggage to bear. Sometimes, the heavy stuff manifests in the little things (like miniature wargames).

Yes, composure goes out the window. If they throw dice, if they scream if they pull out their hair, let them. Let them cycle through the emotion and give them space to compose themselves.

3) Openly appreciate (praise) what your opponent did well.

When a player loses, there’s a second (albeit just a second) where he kind of hates the game, hates himself, hates his dice, hates his army and so forth.  It’s a second full of hate.

Praising your opponent, provided it is honest and sincere, helps remind them why they love the game, love the hobby and love playing other people.  Saying things like “Your army is beautifully painted” or “your using that special ability in combination with that psychic power was brilliant” goes a long way in ingratiating yourself to the person you just beat.

4) Thank them.

The game we play isn’t a game of solitaire - playing Dawn of War by yourself in your basement doesn’t compare to the experience of playing in a 50+ man tournament. When you finish playing a game, thank the other person for playing you. Without them, your hobby would be sitting by yourself  with your models playing mathhammer on Bell of Lost Souls.

Shake his hand. Say “Thank you for the great game.”

5) Keep your head.

Sometimes, despite your trying to be cordial, your opponent can’t reciprocate. He’s not being emotional, he’s just being a sore loser. He may  say things that are insulting and disrespectful to you.  He may try to take the win from you for whatever reason. A lot of those statements may start with “If I had…” or “If you hadn’t…” and end with “I wudda won.”

Don’t let him get under your skin.  Don’t let him drag you into the mud too.  If he’s doing this, you’ll probably not salvage any sportsmanship points, but at least you look like the classier gent. And that’s 2 fronts you just won on.