Preface: this is a Warhammer-free post.

I’m writing this because a few  of people tagged me on Facebook for Derby Syphillis or something. To quote the activity, “Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals that roller derby has added to your life.”  I’m also writing this as a reminder to myself of how far I’ve come, and to freshmeat skaters of how far they can go.

Look in the back - that's me running on my toestops. Courtesy of Anthony Canada

I’m going to preface all of this by saying that unlike other gals I happened to benchmark with, I am not a natural skater. For the longest time I was afraid of falling, afraid of the speed, afraid of skating too close to other people and pretty much afraid of my own shadow on skates.

I’ve said it on this blog before (albeit in a different context): it is in adverse situations that you improve.

This is a post about success, and how the path to it is riddled with moments that feel like  failure.

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The more I involve myself in roller derby, the more I realize that 40K and derby aren’t all that different.

For one, each has an overall metagame. And regional metagames. Bouts in Alberta WILL look very different from those in Quebec, for example. Strategies and playstyles differ from league to league, and team to team. For example, RDRDA’s Nightshades, for example are a team of amazing blockers who can control the pace of the game, whereas Med Hat’s Gas City Rollers are a team of fast as hell jammers.

And in roller derby, just like 40K, people who want to win are constantly trying to break the game.

Take, for instance, the “no start”. It’s the derby equivalent of the slow play stall tactic douches use during tournaments, or leafblower lists.

Observe:

Yes, that was 2 minutes of standing around.  The jam went on without the jammers getting whistled on (which happens with the last gal in the pack crosses the pivot line –  a whole 30 feet from where the jammers start.

How does this relate to anything GW? I mean other than the obvious bootie-short wearing, of course.
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My beloved league, Red Deer RollerDerby Association, hosted Operation Skate and Destroy  over the last weekend. I had such an amazing time!

Here’s a breakdown of my weekend:

Saturday – Bootcamp:  5 different coaches providing skill and skill building insights. RDRDA’s own Team Canada skater TAZ started the morning off by kicking my ass with off-skate dynamic movements (and in the same manner destroyed my plan to “save” my legs for benchmarking the next day). I got some great pack skill and strategy techniques from Coach Lime, learned some interesting agility drills from Tye Die. Also had the privilege of learning the finer points of hitting and jamming from RDRDA’s Hollywood Homicide and Razor.

Saturday evening – Nightshades Bout: Worked the door for the first half of the bout, but got to see how FAST the pack was moving to keep RDRDA Alum Spaz in check. RDRDA features some of the BEST blockers and it was amazing to see how good the Nightshades were able to control the pace of the bout in the 2nd half and come back to victory!

Sunday morning – Benchmarks: I had the most serious nerves. For those who don’t know, benchmarking is a minimum skills assessment that basically ensures you’re capable of playing the physically demanding sport of derby. Well – I did it! This was a HUGE milestone for me, and there are so many people whose efforts have helped me along the way to get to this point.  I won’t list them all, but pretty much anyone who as seen me on skates has had a hand in both improving my skills and enabling me to skate.

Which brings me to the point of the whole weekend for me – my Bout:

Yes. That’s me. Laying a hit onto Adoll Hitter. And she did go down, if I recall correctly. Next time I’ll be hitting with my eyes open, so I’ll be able to SEE what I’m hitting. Lesson to all: CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOTS.

I barely remember it. Super thanks to Anthony Canada (who shot the photo above) for creating a record of the fact that I actually played and didn’t dream the whole thing up.

Monday –  Bangover. Given I skated for HOURS and I was skating pretty hard throughout that time, it wasn’t particularly surprising that I had a REALLY hard time walking the next day.  Tendons in my knee were inflamed. Stairs were the enemy.

The point of this whole story is that I’m REALLY looking forward to doing it all again. E-Ville Beaver Bash, here I come!

This weekend, I had planned to occupy my time by attending the Calgary Roller Derby Bootcamp. The camp included all-star coaches like Pauly, Bonnie D Stoir and Smarty Pants.

But it seems like the stuff that really tied that whole experience together was spending a sunny afternoon at a beautiful park with my daughter.

That grimace is actually her "photo smile". I know she's happy when she puts it on for me when I point a camera at her.

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As I’ve stated previously, power gamer me so happens to be roller derby me. I have to admit, power gamer me is a little scary.  Teri Fying, one might say.

Looks like you'd have to freehand the fishnets on these minis.

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So if you haven’t yet heard, I’ve been skating with the Red Deer Roller Derby Association’s as freshmeat (derby’s name for total n00b).

Now if only I could montage my way up to boost my skating skills like in the movies, instead of having to grind them up like in WoW (non-referred) or RL.

Since I’ve started, I’ve hit a few practices, fallen more than a handful of of times, and sprained an ankle.

I still love it and I’m hoping to get better and faster on my skates. Sooner, preferably.

With all that said, I have to admit that being involved in derby has made me more sympathetic to power game-y listbuilders in 40K.

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